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Constructive Conflict Guide >
Civic Knowledge and Skills That We All Need to Constructively Handle Intractable Conflict >
Overcoming Communication Problems
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Non-Inflammatory Communication

BI Article
Escalation-Limiting Language
A wrong word or misunderstanding during a conflict is like gasoline on a fire. De-escalating arguments requires awareness and self-control.

BI Article
Conversation as a Tool of Conflict Transformation
This essay examines the power of interpersonal conversation in helping people develop positive relationships and transform their conflicts. It discusses the general theory of conversation, while the companion case study on Zimbabwe explores how the ideas discussed in this essay have been applied to a real-world situation.

Colleague Activities
Braver Angel's "E-Courses"
These professional level 40-minute courses have been crafted by experts in communications and depolarization. They provide an effective and "safe" way to interact with people in difficult situations.

BI Article
Creating Safe Spaces for Communication
Constructive communication between parties is often facilitated by creating a "safe space" for such communication. This essay describes what such spaces are, how they are useful, and how they can be established.

BI Article
Communication Tools for Understanding Cultural Differences
Edward T. Hall writes that for us to understand each other may mean, "reorganizing [our] thinking...and few people are willing to risk such a radical move." This essay offers strategies for improving cross-cultural communication.

BI Article
I-Messages and You-Messages
I-messages can be a useful tool for defusing interpersonal conflict. This essay describes how they can be used, their benefits, and their problems.

BI Article
Escalation-Limiting Language
A wrong word or misunderstanding during a conflict is like gasoline on a fire. De-escalating arguments requires awareness and self-control.

BI Article
Small Scale Reconciliation -- Part 2: Promote Effective Communication
This is the second of five videos on small-scale, bottom up reconciliation. This video discusses effective conflict communiciation,

BI Article
Ted Wetzel's Disagreement Fitness
Democracy only works if people understand how to work through disagreements constructively. "Disagreement Fitness" is a way to strengthen such skills.

BI Article
Talking with Friends and Family about the Election
How should we deal with summer family visits when some of our relatives are "on the other side?" Like so many other things, "it depends."

BI Article
More responses to Friends and Family + Democracy Subversion from Rosa Zubizarreta
Rosa Zubizarreta's thoughts about better ways to talk across differences without destroying relationships, and the relationship between our hyper-polarized politics and the increasing risk of large-scale war.

Related Folders
Hostile, Inflammatory Language and Behavior
Calling the other side names, demeaning and humiliating them, or accusing them of being the source of shared problems almost always makes conflicts worse, and gets the other side thinking of you in the same way.

Colleague Activities
Establishing Conversation Norms and Defusing Conflict
The key to any productive public, civil conversation is ensuring all participants follow a set of expectations and norms. Here's a suggested list of norms to follow.

Colleague Activities
Ending This Zombie Apocalypse: How to Have Better Political Conversations
From The Village Square, a websinar with Kristin Hansen of the Civic Health Project and Robb Willer (Prof. of Sociology and Director of the Polarization and Social Change Lab at Stanford, and Kristin Hansen of the Civic Health Project.

Colleague Activities
The State of Public Discourse on Campus
Episode 9 of Areas of Agreement, a podcast featuring students and faculty discussing the need for viewpoint diversity and constructive disagreement on campuses.

Colleague Activities
"Woke" is a Perfectly Meaningful Word - Better Conflict Bulletin #43
An examination of what the term means, how it is used, and how it is used as an excuse--by both progressives and conservatives to avoid talking about real issues.

Colleague Activities
Empathy Circle Game
The Empathy Circle Game was created to enrich listening and communication skills through a series of engaging in-person group activities.

Colleague Activities
Difficult Dialogues National Resource Center
DDNRC seeks to ensure that college campuses sustain freedom of expression and academic freedom, promote pluralism, and expand opportunities for constructive communication across different perspectives.

Colleague Activities
Conflict Hacks: A Summer Survival Kit from Amanda Ripley
Easy ideas everyone can use to defuse tension and create community.

Colleague Activities
Getting to Third Space with Lamar and Tom
This podcast features an exploration of how to talk with one another about significant, even controversial, issues with grace and humor.

Colleague Activities
Make it a Habit: Be Hard on Issues But Soft on People
A quick "how to" (and why) from Starts with Us as a good way to reduce polarization, improve relationships, and get more done.

Colleague Activities
The Unify America Challenge: A Worthwhile Tool for Deliberative Pedagogy
A description of a new tool to help colleage students engage in constructive discourse. The tool promotes communication skills, encourages students to listen to diverse voices, and underscores the shared values that transcend divisive political issues.

News and Opinion
The art of listening
For a world in which we tend to focus on developing our ability to persuade and influence others, a plea, instead, for cultivating our ability to listen to (and be persuaded by) our fellow citizens.

News and Opinion
Danya Rumore: To disagree better, we need to increase our conflict competence
In response to Utah Gov. Spencer Cox's "Disagree Better" Initiative, a quick and readable summary of what "disagree better" means in practice.

News and Opinion
The Secret Power of Using 'We' During Difficult Conversations
This simple change in language and, more importantly, the way we think about conflict can have huge and quite beneficial implications.

News and Opinion
Things Worth Remembering: Conversation Is an Art
Reflections on what it really takes to master the art of conversation and constructive communication.